The wedding envelope...

[Perfectlap]

An informal poll...

This pertains ONLY to close friends getting hitched. You bring a guest to a wedding and reception. It's a nice place. You've known the couple of long time.
You opt out of the wedding registry and decide to give the one gift no one ever returns...cash. What have you given, high to low?

Seven years ago I was in a wedding went stag and kicked in $200. Recently I was in another wedding, also very nice, but brought a guest and kicked in $400.
I got to thinking its been 7 years and the cost of living has definitely gone up.
Hmm...maybe I could have dug a little deeper but its one of many weddings this year. Actually some close friends who I sorta know are in trouble financially opted not to attend at all. Not sure if was a money issue but none the less unfortunate.
Some people I know think its nuts to give this kind of money to close friends.
While others (usually 'ethnic') think its not only fine but expected. While others take as long as a year to provide a gift! even though the invites went out 5 months ago.

[raddoc]

We went to one of my business partners' wedding a few weeks ago. Honestly , we could not give him and his bride a meaningful cash gift. All four partners earn in the upper six figures, so no matter what reasonable amount was in the envelope it would not make a real difference in the happy couple's lifestyle. I ended up giving them a $500 gift card to a multi-city very high end restaurant group, so that while they spent $750K on house restoration (and $50K kitchen renovation was being completed!) the poor folks would have a chance at a decent meal. Ya' gotta give something, but these were people who want for nothing. We tried to give something they'd appreciate and make their lives easier.

[AUDIOGUY]

Listen, its all relative. My wealthiest buddy at my wedding 2 years ago gave us 750.00. This was the highest gift given to us by a non-family member. He also pulls down 2 mil a year. Depending on what you can afford, I would go with 4 to 500. Most middle classers these days do the 200 to 250 gift.

Most importantly, write something meaningful in the card and have a great time.

If you dont agree with his marrying choice, offer him a grand and a plane ticket out of there... he may thank you!!

just joking!

Best of luck!

[Boxtaboy]

I just did this recently, and opted to put $400 in the envelope, as that's what I got from many of my friends at my wedding 3 yrs. ago.

[bmx672]

If they are rich... make a donation to a charity in their name.
If they are not, base it on where the reception is and about how much it is costing them. you want to make sure that you cover your expense and then some.

[Perfectlap]

106 views and only 4 replies? Must be a touchy subject...

$700 from a millionaire? hmm...I was wondering about that. My friend's wife's boss was at a recent wedding. Hedge fund guy. I was wanting to ask how much he kicked in. He's easily worth 9 figures.

[AUDIOGUY]

"$700 from a millionaire? hmm..."

The rich don't stay rich by giving it away... besides I am not exactly a pauper.
I didn't get a "relief check" from uncle sam.

Haha...

[gregdacat]

I don't care how well off the newly weds are, I have never met anyone that could not use a cookie jar from J.C. Penney. ;)

Greg

2002 Triple Black, 64k miles, desnorkled, bumper plugs, nitrogen filled tires

[LoveBunny]

I recently was told by someone that an appropriate value for a gift is about what they spent per head on the reception.

But dang, I had no clue it was THAT MUCH these days! Guess I haven't been to a wedding for a while. And don't think I want to go to one for a looooong time now after reading this. But maybe I'll get married so I can pay off my boxster early. :D

[super66]

Here's my rule of thumb...some will puke on it and that's fine.....being married, and knowing what kind of gifts I got ($15 dollar check from a family of 5) I would have loved if it was followed on my "big" day :D

Figure $80 bucks a plate...plus a date....I give $160....plus a little on top to $200.....if I barely know you, you probably get 150 and be happy cause it's better than a lot of what you'll open....If we're friends that will go up to $250

a good friend, $300......

anything more while may be appreciated by the bride and groom, is just a ridiculous expectation.....just my take on it :D

in the end, you'll get the same thoughtless thank you card as the guy who gave 10 bucks...lol

[maxferran]

Man, with 350 guests at my reception, I may have been given 3000 in cash total, the rest gift cards to bed bath and beyond and home doodads that are stuffed up in the pantry to never be seen again.

I cannot believe you give so much, I wouldn't even consider giving 500 dollars as a gift unless it was my best friend.. Then again, I am no millionaire and even my lowly mortgage is something I cannot shrug off.

[NickCats]

Man, with 350 guests at my reception, I may have been given 3000 in cash total, the rest gift cards to bed bath and beyond and home doodads that are stuffed up in the pantry to never be seen again.

My wife had a THOUSAND dollars of gift cards to target after our wedding !

She went shopping for 8 hours - went to two targets - came home with the Mustang packed floor to ceiling and shaking like a meth addict - funniest thing I ever saw !

I never knew how much stuff I needed until I got married :D

Nick

[RandallNeighbour]

21 years ago when I got married we got two crock pots, three toasters, and nine, count them NINE cake plates and a bunch of other crap for the kitchen.

No cash that I can recall. Oh how things have changed.

My niece got married two weeks ago and I gave her a $50 gift certificate to Target.

Of course, all my relatives think I'm a poor, underpaid minister and I'd like to keep it that way. I'd have tripled that amount for a good friend I think, especially if I knew their daddy wasn't footing the bill for the wedding.

[Darkhamr]

Oh jeez there is no fast and hard rule, but I've been through a number of weddings recently and unless you are cheap or of limited means I'd say at minimum try to cover the cost per plate at the reception. If you like the person double that. If you are not sure a good rule of thumb is $100 per head is pretty safe in general. For me and my wife attending I've given anywhere from $300 to sort of friends to $1k to my best friend.

[LoveBunny]

Something I'm curious about though is how you know what the cost per head for the reception is? I honestly had no clue how expensive weddings had gotten until reading some figures online recently. I think the average wedding is now something like $30k! Is it just me, or is that insane?

[bmx672]

Super66

EXACTLY!

I was about to write the same thing!

[Topless]

Something I'm curious about though is how you know what the cost per head for the reception is? I honestly had no clue how expensive weddings had gotten until reading some figures online recently. I think the average wedding is now something like $30k! Is it just me, or is that insane?

Yes. As the father of three daughters, it is insane. We give our kids a wedding budget and let them work out the details. Choices we can all live with.

Our oldest wanted a backyard wedding. We rented all the chairs, tables, linen, glassware, tableware, dance floor, DJ, water fountain display, and had a full sit down catered buffet dinner with wine and champagne. We did all the decoration with flowers, plants and a gazillion twinkle light strings. My wife handled most of the planning and arrangements. 100 guests... about $6k total costs and it was magical for them.

A friends daughter was married recently in typical clubhouse style. 130 guests, equally magical for them, and about $50k total cost. Dad just kept writing checks. Ouch! There goes a nice down payment on a house for the newlyweds in one night.

[LoveBunny]

My best friend had her reception in her parents' back yard and by their pool and in their house (basically all downstairs). They did have a house that was perfect for that type of thing, but basically all they had to pay for was a tent for the side yard, some chairs and tables, and some food. I think her mom even made her cake. I don't know what it ended up costing, but I'm sure it wasn't much. She had a beautiful and classy wedding and reception that I liked much more than some that I'm sure were super expensive.

btw, my dad told me once he'd pay for me to get married...he'd pay for my marriage license!